Head Being Better, Let's Talk About This Restaurant

I recently noticed a new, or at least new to me, restaurant, and by "noticed" I mean that we drove past it going home from the tulip-picking, and I said, "What is Flank?" And Mary Ellen pointed out that it's actually Flank., with the period, which use of punctuation in the name she took to mean that it's outside her price range. I agreed that that seemed likely, but I was curious enough to look it up.

Well. It's so far from my usual that I can't even see it from where I sit. The website talks about "the Flank experience," which by the way is apparently "inspired by the century old beefsteak tradition where men would gather by the dozens to feast on piles of beef, without utensils." Doesn't that sound lovely? And masculine? (And it's a tradition they carry on, if you look at the dinner menu.) But let's get to the important part: the menu. Or rather, menus.

The lunch menu is rather limited, in my opinion, and to be honest, I am not usually in a group that pays $30 for a lunch (mind you, that is for the filet, which is my steak of choice; they have things that cost less). Can anyone tell me if "red cow parmesan" is made from the milk of red cows, and why that's a thing? I also notice that they specify that they carry "Mexican Coke," which is a nice touch if you don't mind paying $4 for a bottle.

For dinner, my (larger) cuts of filet will run me $40 or $52, and that doesn't include the sides that lunch does. Isn't that $30 lunch looking better?

Of course, I wanted to see what desserts they have, and that menu is actually called Dessert & Fortified Wines, which is another thing I would need explained to me. (Also, none of the desserts listed called out to me, which is rather sad.) I thought the $98 glass of wine on the Bar menu is the most expensive drink they offer, but then I saw that they have a separate wine list and holy cow I was very wrong. Why is it that the beers are $6 to $8, and the wines go up to, well, I can't even tell if those are by-the-glass prices all the way down, or by the bottle maybe, because how can a glass of wine cost $585? (That's the 2012 Stags Leap Winery – Cask 23 (Napa Valley).) I mean, how can a bottle, either?

Oh, pardon me, there's a big bottle (Large Format?) that, well:

2010 Red Blend – Opus One (Napa Valley) 1,650

To think I was impressed by the Johnny Walker Blue, which is $75 a glass. (Though I would prefer to order the Monkey Shoulder, which amuses me mightily, even though it must be pretty bad if it's only $13.)

Wow. Just, wow.