Trying to Breathe Through It

Before I moved to Florida, when I was very stressed out by the whole process of preparation, I came across this photo:

I found this kitten very soothing to look at. For a while, I had it as the background on my computer, so that if I felt stressed, I could look at it and breathe deeply and do the "this too shall pass" mantra. It was helpful.

When I saw this photo yesterday, it hit me the same way.

Aww, look at the cute cat photo, instead of thinking about the way life feels right now!

I am someone who gets a lot of pleasure from anticipation*. This can be in part because I like to be ready, so for example before a trip (remember those?), I would make detailed packing lists and plans and think it all through in advance. I know I've written about this before, how I don't do spontaneous, but I sure do anticipation well. I even love tracking packages and knowing when things are expected to come, whether the item in question is exciting or just necessary.

*The good kind, anyway. There's also a bad kind of anticipation, like when it's momentarily quiet from upstairs but one knows the quiet won't last...

But these days? There isn't a lot of concrete anticipation in my life right now. I don't know when I'll be able to travel again. Other things are less distant but still far off, like the end of the demo noise from upstairs (months and months away, and the finish isn't set in stone). Even the two yarn orders I'm waiting for right now are coming from Canada, and thus not as trackable. I'm sure they'll get here sometime, but no saying when.

Even hockey, which I am looking forward to, is full of lots of worries and uncertainties right now. Running through all the good things in my life that I am lucky to have, well, it's all true and it's not making a dent in my mood. 

I could just use something that is both unambiguously positive and time-specific to look forward to. I miss that. Sigh. Vent, vent, vent.