Thanks for the kind comments on Maggie's birthday and Mom's surgery. We are hanging in.
Mom and I had both heard from many sources that shoulder surgery is a tough one, harder to recover from than hips, and so far I think we are seeing that. And of course knowing it's coming and actually going through it are different, aren't they?
Mom has pain medication, so that's good, but it means she can't have her wine while she's on it, which is tough. The ice packs and exercises are going to be good for her recovery in the long run, but are bothersome in the now. I try to encourage her without nagging too much.
As for me, in the normal course of life we both do various household tasks, and now the majority falls to me, plus there are things she simply can't do that need to be done for her*. And don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to be here for her, so she doesn't have to go to a nursing home/rehab to get through this. But it's the strangest combination of stressful and boring.
*Not to get into the things she tries to do for herself anyway: Mom, get off the stepstool!
This role doesn't play to my strengths, which are in planning and anticipation, not spontaneity, handling things are they come up. But being here is important, and I am.
As is Maggie.
My sister broke her shoulder last year and her husband had to do everything for her, so I've got some small vicarious taste of what it must be like. The caretaker role is harder because you have to watch the person you love going through that, whereas they get the triumph of facing it head on and just dealing. As a patient myself often enough, it's harder on my husband when I'm sick.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and the exercises are worth it.
I've known a few people to have shoulder surgery, and it is really terribly painful to recover from. I am so sorry to hear this. Lots of good healing thoughts from me to you. xo
ReplyDeleteAs my MIL was dying from cancer, she snarkily reported to me that her recovery from shoulder surgery was worse than dying because they wouldn't give her the good drugs for the surgery, but now that she was dying, she could have whatever she wanted. So, good news for your mom! She's not dying! (Is that too dark? Depressing? It always makes me laugh that she was able to hold on to her sense of humor as things got bad.)
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