I'm sure I have complained every year when it gets to be annual performance review time at work, and I have to BS my way through the self-assessment. But this year it is, actually, quantifiably, worse than it has been in previous years, because my company has glommed onto some more jargon this year, which shows up in the self-assessment in two ways.
First, they want me to describe how I have 'demonstrated' their 'core values,' which are (gag) curiosity, courage, and collaboration. Courage? How on earth does my editing demonstrate courage? How CAN it?
Second, they want to know how I have 'demonstrated' 'customer obsession.' Also known as 'customer centricity.'
I can usually work myself up to BSing the usual strengths and weaknesses sorry, 'areas for improvement' questions, but these? I don't know if it's the lingering trip lag, but I just keep looking at these and shaking my head.
I don't think they want me writing that I am obsessed with preventing our customers from knowing that our analysts don't always use verbs in sentences. Or that I have the courage to face the frequently poor-quality writing that is sent in.
The deadline is next week. I should be working on them. But ugh.
Would something like "I am obsessed with editing raw, grammatically unprofessional materials into presentations and products that will inspire customer confidence" work, possibly?
ReplyDelete(but yeah, courage. I don't think they want to hear "look, buddy, it takes courage, as a detail-oriented person who is tired and slowly losing faith in humanity, to face down yet *another* day full of new ways people can screw up slides." If there's ever any negative pushback on your edits, maybe you could say "standing up for verbs even when others want to exclude them!" - er - "standing up for the company's standards in the face of offended presentation-makers." But maybe you never hear anything ever again when you make edits, so...?)