A Quick One for Now

It's been a long time since I shared the funny movie ratings from the Boston Globe, but I have been screen-shotting them and will do so again. For now, though, here's one I just can't wait to share, and not for the explanation at the end, but for the stars.

ZERO stars! And even more, the explanation behind the rating:

I don't go to the movies often, and I would never have gone to see this anyway, but wow, that is a scathing review.

Would you also avoid it, or would you perversely be more likely to go, just to see if it could possibly be that bad?

Hilarious and Scathing Movie Review

Rather than wait for the next round-up of movie ratings, I had to share this one today, along with some quotes from the review that made me glad I don't have the job of reviewing movies. Can you imagine?

Okay, we start with one and a half stars. We've seen worse.

Cruelty to moviegoers? Well, that's new! The reviewer is not holding back.

Now, here is the question: Would you ever go see this movie? What would it take to get you there? For me, even a free ticket and free popcorn wouldn't do it.

Did you want to see it before (or not want to), and did the review change your mind?

More Movie Ratings (part two)

And here is the second part of the movie rating catch-up, as promised.

The minion one, not surprising, but the second part made me laugh!

Ohhh-kay then.

Not a surprise, I guess.

But which meaning of dirty?

Good one.

Can violence be snide? Discuss.

You need to think of the Boston accent for that first part.

Again, sound like an R rating.

Makes a difference, I guess.

Irish rap?

Scary accents? Huh?

Well, okay, I won't be going to that one.

Oh, no thank you.

Looking on the bright side!

I don't mind profanity...gore depends...but the first part is a definite no.

Simple and to the point.

Hmm!

Did anyone see this? Want to weigh in?

Zero stars! And yet someone I know (but not well) posted on FB about how much she enjoyed it. Perhaps it's one of those where it really depends on the audience.

And again with the simple note. I guess I should say that most of these ratings are funny, but not all of them!

More Movie Ratings (part one)

Wow, I haven't done this since May? I have been screen-shotting the funny ratings the Boston Globe puts in their movie reviews, but, well, apparently instead of posting them here, I've been reading in all my free time lately (and in some time that shouldn't be free as well). I'm going to break this into two parts, so here's the first half-ish. Away we go!

Mercy, that's vivid! I am anti-gender reveal parties, anyway, even the ones that don't explode. Maybe I would feel differently about it if I had been pregnant, but I don't know, celebrating the baby specifically by what's under the diaper seems odd to me.

That's oddly specific, isn't it?

I have to admit that, putting this post together, I read the rating before the movie title, and was briefly very, very confused. Well, I'm still confused about the offscreen cow sex part. 

Sometimes that's what you want! Right? (I wonder why this one is center-aligned when they're usually left-aligned? Oops?)

As long as you know what you're in for.

Not my thing, but again, there's a time and place for it.

Ouch, all that and one star.

I don't actually know what they mean by that, but:

Not for me, thanks!

I do love bilingual cursing, myself.

Another one star, and oof, another not for me.

Umm, okay?

Good to be warned about that. So many movies I don't want to see!

That sounds like an R rating, all right.

I did think about going to see this one, but didn't make it happen.

Scary spiders...English whispers?

About time the men got some of that, right?

Oh, animal cruelty is an immediate no. Is it for you? Do you have automatic yes or no features in movies?

It's Movie Ratings Time!

It has been a hot minute since I last posted the movie ratings from the Boston Globe that amuse me so much. Well, almost two months! Here we go:

For some reason, the single curse is amusing me. Did they count? Or say after, it was only one, right?

Nice!

I guess it is, at that. As they go on to say:

That's specific! And also, ouch:

This is what the local paper had to say about the same movie. Four and a half stars versus two! 

Interesting.

Had you heard that?

Just very casual (but the good kind, as opposed to below). By the topic, I would have been interested in seeing this, but by the review, well:

Ouch.

Not the good kind of casual.

How nude is that, exactly?

Tennis, anyone?

In the name of love! They should have worked that into the tennis movie rating.

Oh, no, not glamping! 

Ha! But also no thank you.

Any of these on your list?