I knocked something over today, and it made a mess--a small mess, but still a mess--and my first response was to say, "Oh, jeez, you are incapable of not knocking things over!"
And while it is true that I am a klutz, and that frequently results in things I have to clean up, my second response was, "Stop it. If your friend had done this, would you say that to them? No. So don't say it to yourself."
And I cleaned it up, which seriously took less than a minute and was not a big deal.
Am I still a little annoyed with myself? Honestly, yes I am. But I'm also trying to let it go. We are all works in progress.
My brain responds the very same when I do something like that. Very wise to remind yourself to talk to you with the same love and grace that you would offer a friend.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard sometimes. The recriminations come out so easily, and reframing feels unnatural.
DeleteListen to the box! The box is very wise. I just saw something on Swistle's comment section and it was a poor translation of some item, and the translation was "do not be anxious about this situation" which cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteI saw that and also laughed! Easier said than done, translator.
DeleteSo been there. Thanks for stopping yourself there and taking good care of my friend.
ReplyDeleteTrying to change the nature of my own internal monologue is my lifelong project. I am proud of you for giving yourself grace.
ReplyDeleteIt was very grudging! But I am glad I even tried.
DeleteWhat a great strategy. We all need to do this more often. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome! We really do.
DeleteLike Engie, changing my internal monologue has also been a lifelong project. I am a perfectionist and am incredibly hard on myself but thinking about how I would treat a friend or loved one has helped me not be so hard on myself.
ReplyDeleteThat's helped me, too. And not just "a friend" but specifically naming the friend: "If Jane did that, would you say that to her? Of course not!"
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