More Than You Would Think Possible on Shower Curtains

As I am quite sure you remember from when I wrote about it last summer, I've been dealing with shower curtain issues. As I wrote then, I found a really long curtain for my unconventional set-up, and then found it was SO extra long that I had to weight it down with a shampoo bottle to keep it from billowing in. Plus I have to be careful not to step on it. This solution has been okay, but not perfect, is what I'm saying, and I've been wanting to replace it with one that, while still longer than the standard 70 inches, is not 84.

Meanwhile, I happened across a pretty shower curtain, something I have thus far been able to resist the siren call of (the liners are functional, has always been my feeling, and I don't really need anything decorative), and all of a sudden, I have this:

On my computer at least, the color is kind of washing out--it's hard to get good lighting in there--but, come on, flamingos. (I think the real color is somewhere between my photos and the listing; but anyway, I like it, which is the important part.)

They were one of my favorite parts of Earthflight, if you recall. (Because you remember every word I write, don't you?) They make me smile.

So, going back to the liner issue, I went to Bed & Bath last night to get a new liner, and they didn't have one with the features I want (namely, 78-80 inches, with suction cups on the sides and magnets/weights on the bottom). I kept going around and around, but no, really not.

So my next step was trying to find one on Amazon, and good god are there a million options. Trying to narrow the search appropriately is surprisingly challenging. (I may have found the one, but honestly, I'm so blinded by the search, I'm going to wait to place the order until I can look at it again when I'm feeling clear-headed.)

And then you get the listings that are clearly written by someone whose first language is not English, or someone whose marketing ambitions have overtaken their communication skills. Some are honestly incomprehensible, and others are ... well, stellarly interesting. Take this one, with its EMPHASIS everywhere:

In case you miss the best part, in the sea of CAPITAL LETTERS, let me highlight it for you:

Shining in the lamplight. Okay, then! As well as "touching by your hands," and let's not think about how else you would be touching it. Unless they mean if you touch it when it billows out to stick to your leg, but I feel like at that point, it would not be shining in the lamplight.

All right, I'm done for now. You're welcome.