New Laptop for Work: Yes! No? Yes! Do You Have It Yet? No, Not Getting a New One

Work has been back-and-forthing over the last few months about whether they are giving me a new laptop. It went like this (I may be forgetting a few steps):

• They announced that they would be updating older machines (I didn't ask for it--they started it! But my machine is old and slow, and the fan comes on a lot, so I was very pleased that they might actually be proactive about it)
  
• IT guy #1 asked in early April if I had received it (no)
• IT #1 said the shipments were held up at FedEx for a billing situation
• weeks of silence
• IT #1 asks did you get it, it was mailed last week by IT #2 (no) (by now it's May)
  
• more silence
• my boss asked if it was lost in the mail
• IT #1 asks IT #2 for an update
• IT #2 does not answer
• IT #1 asks if I am happy with my machine (um, no?)
• IT #2 asks if I have received it (still no)
• IT #1 asks IT #2 for an update
• IT #2 says he's waiting on a shipment and will let me know
  

So mid-afternoon yesterday, #1 asks if I have time for him to remote into my machine to 'reset it'--sounds ominous, but it's not like I have a choice, so okay. 

We spend 2 or 3 hours with resetting and it's not working and logins and zooming so he can see what wasn't working*, and just So Much Annoyance. By the end of the day, it seemed to have reset. This morning, I got to get everything working right again, with every single display and setting effed up, just one annoyance after another.

*And while we were on the phone, I asked if this was in place of getting a new machine and he confirmed that I am not getting a new machine, to which I said, "Well, I guess I can keep using this one until it dies," which it will do, given its age--it's over 9 years old, by the serial number--and he said he thought it wasn't that old. Um, okay. I didn't make that up, but I'm not arguing with him.

But really kind of the icing on the cake is after all that, IT Guy asked how many company machines I have (or, actually, he asked "how many company machine you have with you," so I guess I would have been off the hook for any company machines that I had, but not with me at the time), and I said just this one laptop, and he asked when I got it ("May I know when did you received [sic, god knows] that laptop"). And the answer to that is August of 2015*. As I have told them before. But apparently that is hard to keep track of. 

*And it wasn't new then.

So who knows if this is the end of the story.