Oh, what did I wear? I wore a tank top, long sleeve shirt, and sweater today. I almost wish I'd worn long johns under my khakis (except that I refuse to, in August), because my legs were cold. Outside, 60 degrees this morning (and raining, of course). Inside at work, not much better (they keep the air conditioning blowing constantly because ... It's August!). Brrr.
I get in trouble all the time when I think something is "supposed to be" a certain way, and this is one of those times. August in Boston is Supposed To Be hot. So hot you're sick of it, so hot you know it's still summer and you're almost ready for summer to end, only you're not. Humid, sure, but not raining every day. We had double the average rainfall in July, and August is keeping on that pace. Enough already! Please...
When I left work tonight, the sun was mostly out, and it was 75, which is an improvement. But the clouds presage more storms. Sigh.
It makes me tired.
Why my pants* are too tight today
*Brits, please substitute trousers, kthnx
This morning I reaffirmed my resolve to lose some weight. I don't know why today particularly, but today I just thought yes, time to work on this again. Doesn't have to be a lot, but the numbers have been creeping up, and it's reached the point of impacting my clothing. I really can't have this. So when I pulled on my khakis and they were verging on uncomfortable, I didn't switch to a different pair. Instead, I told myself that some negative reinforcement might help me keep my eyes on the goal.
It is uncomfortable.
So is being hungry.
But if I can put up with the latter, the former will improve.
Because that's why I want to lose weight. Not because I think it "looks better". Not to reach a predetermined magic number. Not because it's "healthier". Quite likely if I ate more healthy foods, and less crap, I would be healthier, but that's an amorphous goal. I want to fit into my clothing better, period.
By preference, I'm not a person who gets on the scale a lot. I think it's because I sense that I could get addicted to that number and what it does (up? down?), so I try to stay away. However, since I now have to monitor Pan's weight to make sure he stays healthy, I've been weighing myself every two weeks for almost 18 months, and I can see what that number is doing.
Of course, the fit of my clothing tells the same tale. It isn't really about the number, when I take a step back. It's about what the number means.
your misery wants company, I'm right over here --->. Sick of rain. Sick of cool. Worrying about this excess moisture lasting into winter (don't forget 1" of rain is 1' of snow). Watching the waistband of my pants get tighter. Yep - misery all over the place.
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