Saturday, August 29, 2015

An Odd Kind of Question

The moon is gorgeous tonight, full and golden and haloed. It was rising as I drove home from a dinner with family/friends, and I wanted to stop and just look at it.

Other than the dinner, I spent most of the day cleaning and tidying. You might think that in the past few months, as I was not working, I would have had plenty of time to keep up with such things, and you would be right in the sense that I had the time, but I wasn't doing it. Somehow working, and getting the workspace organized, helped me see more clearly how messy everything else had become. Ugh. My right shoulder, which has been sore recently for no real reason, is sore tonight for a purpose. But things are looking better.

I have an oddball question I am pondering. When I took down the shelves that were on top of the file cabinet, I took down what was on the shelves, which was largely but not solely photos. Part of the "not" was two small wooden boxes that hold Pan's and Harold's ashes. And I kind of don't know what to do with them.

I got them because it seemed like I should, like it was the thing to do, that it would provide that mythical closure people talk about. But now, five and six years later, having the ashes does not make me feel good in any particular way. They don't make me burst into tears to see them, or anything like that, but to be honest I have hundreds if not thousands of pictures of the boys that are, to me, much more their memorials. They were great cats, I loved them, I hated when they died, but ... the ashes don't add any value, so to speak, to the relationship or memories of it. And I don't see the point in keeping something that brings me only faint sadness.

But. What do I do with them? It seems wrong to just throw them away. Pretentious to scatter them. I have nowhere to bury them, not that I'm sure that would feel right either; anyway, I don't want to put them in a pet cemetery. So, what am I not thinking of?

Sorry if it's a bummer of a question, but I just haven't been able to come up with an answer to this one.

4 Comments:

Blogger Kali said...

I would think they might be good added to garden compost. A past life helping new life. Think about it?

10:44 PM, August 29, 2015  
Blogger Mary Ellen said...

I'm interested too, since we have, now, 6 little wooden boxes of ashes (one cat, five guinea pigs) and the stack on the bookshelf is getting tall...

10:56 PM, August 29, 2015  
Blogger Mary Ator said...

If you get any insight please share. I have my dog and 3 cats. I don't know what to do either. I can't just get rid of them, it seems wrong somehow, but at this rate I can see having my own graveyard of pet ashes and that's something I don't want either.

4:43 PM, August 30, 2015  
Blogger Leslie said...

When we moved from the pond, the husband would not let me scatter the cats' ashes there so I have 7 containers of cat cremains sitting in a canvas bag in the spare room closet. Luckily I have a friend with 40 acres who has already started a scattering place on "cat hill" overlooking a pond. Little does he know but that's where the husband will go when his ashes come back (although I would like to keep him around in his present living state a few more years). Yes, he and the cats will be scattered at the same time - a handful of Perry, a handful of Hubby, a handful of Sassy, a handful of Hubby...

What about scattering Pan & Harold under the trees by where you park your car? Assuming the condo ownership extends under them you would not be scattering on land where you have no ownership interest and you wouldn't be putting them in a place far from their home. Or perhaps you could scatter the boys over a friend's garden. The dust will integrate with the soil and be absorbed. If your friend has a large compost pile they could be added to that as your friend Kali suggests. Scattering them in the same place at the same time assures the friends will be together forever.

5:49 PM, August 30, 2015  

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