Slightly Prickly In More Than One Way

Thanks for all the prayers and good wishes sent to me and Carlos. Since there's nothing I can do about the situation until Friday, my coping mechanism is to try not to think about it*, because getting myself upset before then is pointless. (Mah baybee!)

*Not that the thought doesn't cross my mind, but when it does, I take a deep breath, remind myself that he'll be fine, and think of something else.

I would try my alternate coping method, which involves ingesting comforting, sustaining amounts of chocolate, ice cream, and so on, but my trousers are already tight, which is motivating me today to TRY to control my eating, FTLOG. I've been doing better with the exercising thing over the last few months, but eating has been out of control. Oof. Everything is looking so good! I'm hungry!* I want!

*I also have problems with boredom-eating and but-it's-there-eating. Sometimes, though, I'm just hungry.

I almost choked the other day by laughing while eating. I was eating some raisins for a snack, and hoping that they would fill me up because I'm having such trouble with the food/snack/eating issue lately, and after all raisins are healthy, they're fruit! Then that little voice in my head reminded me that it wouldn't be healthy to eat a ton of them as a snack, even if they are fruit, and that reminded me of a character in a Dick Francis book who eats nuts and raisins by the pound because "they're healthy" and, well, cough. Ahem.

I didn't eat a ton of raisins, by the way. But I didn't measure the amount, either. Everything's so complicated. And there's only so much water I can drink, both because it gets boring, and because going to the bathroom every 37 minutes gets tiresome.

So, exercising. I continue to bike (and knit), and progress is up and down. One night I managed 20 consecutive minutes without agony, and the next barely made it to 7 minutes before hobbling to the couch. So who knows? I'm breaking a sweat, which is supposed to be good, right? (Honestly, this had better be helping; I'm going to be so pissed if it turns out all I'm doing is making myself sweaty--and hungry. Hungrier.) At least with the knitting, I have something concrete to show for the time. That's oddly comforting. Maybe I won't lose weight, but I'll gain socks.

After reading this article in the NYT about various methods of exercising, I tried some squats last night, too. (Though I used a hand to balance, instead of folding my arms across my chest; one thing at a time.) Easy to get down, harder and harder to get back up! Soon, the weather will make walking outdoors seem less like a punishment and more like a treat, and I can get out in the fresh air and burn a few calories there. Sustainability. Though clearly I have to control the eating, too. Which sucks, frankly.

Life. Don't talk to me about life. Yes, quoting Marvin the Paranoid Android is not a good sign. Perhaps this is a good day to end with some prickly pictures from the greenhouse visit.






Tomorrow will be better (despite bringing the car to the shop for brake work). Because I said so, that's why.