Hope for Happiness to Come; Would You Say Something?

I had quite a grumpy afternoon Tuesday, where nothing major went wrong but there were frustrations and I was cross about work. So when it was time that night to pick up a new book to start (for I must have a book on my commute, in case the T is too hot for knitting, as well as for walking home if I do so), I looked at the pile from the library and chose The Happiness Project. Perhaps it will help me focus on the positive more. (Though I got very annoyed yesterday afternoon as well; but then, I never expected the book to be a magic wand. Today was better.) I'm certainly enjoying it so far, and have flagged some quotes to share when I finish.

My first goal? Well, as simply being cross does not solve most problems, I'd like to be more mindful of my reactions to situations (since often my reaction is the only thing I have control over). An instinctive and usually defensive reaction to an irritant really does no one any good, me included.

"Stop letting your problems plague you" was the message line to a spam e-mail that came through today. Wisdom can be found where you least expect it.

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Would You Say Something?

I'm guessing that we would all tell a friend if she had something in her teeth, or her shirt was on inside out. But what about a stranger? If you see someone on the street with her slip showing, do you tell her? What about something not so easily fixed, like a stain on clothing? Are you more likely to tell another woman (if you're a woman, that is)?

I started thinking about this recently when I noticed on the way to the T after work that a woman walking ahead of me had what looked like a seam splitting on her dress. It was near her waist, and it wouldn't have been so noticeable if it wasn't for the contrast between the black dress and her white skin, but it really stood out.

I wasn't sure what to say, if anything, because my usual guideline would be "tell if it's fixable*", and what could she do about it? Duck into a store and buy something else to wear? Buy a needle and thread?

*Or, now I think on it, if it's mammothly embarrassing. If you can't convince yourself afterward that no one noticed, you'll wish someone had told you.

Before I got close enough to her to have to decide what I would do, another woman passing her paused and spoke to her, and the woman in question switched her bag from the other side, so it kind of covered the area, or at least made it less obvious. Good answer! I'm still not sure what if anything I would have said. You?

The subcategory of this topic might be called Would You Say Something Rude? There's been a man on the bus recently who has me thinking rude thoughts, and I'm not sure if I haven't said anything because:

1. I'm a weenie who hates confrontation.
2. There's no actual rule against acting like a jerk on the bus.
3. I can't think of exactly the right phrasing to make it crushing.

Here's the setup. Part of the reason I loathe riding the bus is that when it gets very crowded, as it usually does, I get claustrophobic. There are not many places to stand on the bus without being in someone's way. I don't like to move to the very back of the bus, though there are usually still seats available (as well as a little standing room) when I get on, because when we get to the stop where I get off, almost everyone gets off. If you're at the back you're stuck in the crowd for another five minutes stifling a panic attack while everyone files off. Ahem. (I also don't have time to spare, really, if it means missing a train, which it easily could. But the crowding seals the deal.)

Given no seats in the front level, the best place for me to stand is by the back door. There's room for four people to stand there and still let people pass, assuming that one of the people is not leaving room in front of himself for his invisible friend. Which, of course, is what this man has been doing lately, and I'd love to say something snarky to him, though I never will. But if I did, what should I say?