You Really Can't

Throughout the process of getting ready to sell and move, I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff. Some was honestly trash, some was donated (either for resale, or for reuse, like old towels to an animal shelter), some went to friends, and for some things, I have made use of a couple of local Facebook groups designed for people to exchange items for free. I'm sure I've mentioned them before but the idea with these groups is that before you buy something, you see if anyone else locally might have one they aren't using (like a bread machine, or an outgrown kids bike), and if you're getting rid of stuff, you can see if there are people nearby who might want it, for free, enough to come get it.

Some of the things I have tried to give away have been hard to get rid of (side tables seem to be dead on the market), and some have had multiple people who want them, and in the latter case, there's no real way to be fair to everyone. And I do want to be fair, as much as possible, although to be honest, my first priority these days is what's easy for me.

A while back, an admin for one of the groups, right after I had given away a bunch of stuff enthusiastically to the first person who asked, posted a gentle (but pointed) group reminder that you don't have to rush to pick someone. Which felt a little personal, though I tried not to be too offended. I mean, sure, that's "not fair" to anyone who wasn't online at just the right time, but then...

More recently, when I offered something up and picked one of the multiple people who wanted it, I got a sad/angry comment from the first person who had commented on it, saying that she was going to talk to the administrators because she never got anything, even when she was the first to comment, and it just wasn't fair*. Which I can sympathize with, but you know, I only have the one of it to give away, I can't make everyone happy. (And no, I didn't reply to her; I'm not diving into that pool, I don't have the energy.)
*When I made this complaint as a kid, my parents would say, "Who ever said life was fair?" or "Fair is where they judge livestock."

What it boils down to, for me, is that these sites can be a great way for me to get rid of something I don't want to deal with myself, or pay to get rid of. If I can't get something down the steps on my own or fit it into my car to take it to Savers, or if it's something I don't think Savers would be able to sell, why not see if someone will come and take it? We both win that way: they get the thing for free, and I get it gone.

And whether I give something to the first person who asks, or pick someone using a random number generator, or chose my downstairs neighbor because hey, that's the easiest for me, well, you can't please everyone.