Thursday, June 30, 2011

Feeling Stupid is Just Exhausting

No matter how much one wanted to find a new job, actually starting a new job is never easy. And while one doesn't expect getting that new job to solve all of life's problems, the amount of stress that comes with starting the new job can be startling.

I still have high hopes for my new job, don't get me wrong, but it has been quite a strain. The company has several dozen different clients (who each have their own rules and preferences), there are dozens of different possible material types, projects can have multiple pieces and go through many stages ... it's an awful lot to learn, basically.

And though they are not pressuring me or pushing me, what it boils down to is that I frequently, repeatedly feel stupid, and I don't like the feeling. No wonder I feel stressed lately. And less competent even than usual (which is not a good thing). I haven't wanted to cook much lately, and when I do, it doesn't always work out well. (Guess who's cleaning the oven this weekend? And throwing out unappealing leftovers?) I haven't been exercising (though I did go for a walk tonight; a mile is better than nothing ... but it isn't much). I just haven't been getting up and going much.

Whoof. I am just ready to know what I'm doing, at least a little bit.

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I want to send a note to my neighbor, a man I've never met but frequently see from my bedroom window. (My driveway and the building doors are on other sides of the building, so I'm never outside on the side where his house is, to see him and say hi or anything.) He's an older gentleman, I'd guess around 70, one of those people with boundless energy who's always going-going-going. Did I mention the time a few months ago when he had roofers come work on his house starting at 7:30 on a Sunday morning? Or that he's meticulous about his yard work, resulting in hours of lawn-mowing, edging, and other loud noises?

Last night was just the end, though. How does this sound?
Hello,
My name is (ccr) and I live across the street from you; in fact, my bedroom faces your driveway. I mention this because Wednesday night, when you started your motorcycle at 10:45 PM, and then didn't ride away on it until 11:00 PM, I was trying to sleep. If you could not leave the engine running late at night, I would be very grateful.
Thank you,
ccr
Too nice? Not nice enough? Do I have to tell him that it's loud?

I suck at interpersonal relationships.

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Let's end on a lighter note. Recently I've been pulling out my camera in the car a lot, for odds and ends of interest. Such as this one, with the many stickers, including the unusual "Wine Not Brine".


Of course I had to go look at the website. It has to do with protesting a proposed gas storage plant neat Watkins Glen, NY (which I have only heard of because I had a friend who was a huge NASCAR fan, and one of the race tracks is in Watkins Glen). So no amusing story there. I don't actually "get" the bumper sticker myself.

Looking this over, I think I made a boring picture even more boring. Sorry about that.

This one is better. Who remembers the old FedEx commercials, "When it absolutely positively has to be there overnight"?


Go Marines!

And who wouldn't rather be at the Mucky Duck?


Most likely, this one is just their initials (George Nathan Klein and his wife, Marie Antoinette), but I was behind it for a while and my brain kept trying to make it stand for something. No dice. Anyone?


For that matter, who can explain this to me: Beer Line Cleaning? I'm not even going to Google it; I'm kind of afraid to know.


Finally, I've seen the window-decal things that look like a baseball through the window, but this was my first hockey puck viewing. Yay!


One more day to the weekend ... one more day ...

3 comments:

  1. One more day to the 3 day weekend!

    I know how it can be, starting a new job. I hope things start falling into place for you. I hate that "feeling stupid" thing as well.

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  2. Feeling stupid shouldn't be possible for you seeing that you are one of the most brilliant people I know. I am sorry you are having a hard time. I'm pretty sure most people feel like that when they are starting something new but you'll get there soon enough.
    Hope you enjoy the long weekend.

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  3. I absolutely HATE starting at a new job too. Even when you know that stupid feeling won't last forever, it's hard to deal with while it does. I just suck it up and figure that as long as I'm new I get a free pass for a few weeks so I ask as many stupid questions as I can...and try to memorize the answers!

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