Although I've dated here and there, now and then, I've never been in a serious, long-term, or cohabitating relationship (we'll leave "why" for another day, or perhaps therapy). Certainly, I find the idea of a good relationship with the right guy appealing, but it hasn't happened yet, and I don't spend much time thinking about it. Que sera, sera.
When I do think about it, though, more often than not, it isn't a soft-focused, romantic musing on how I want to be loved. Instead, it's generally very practical.
"I wish someone else was around to shovel the snow."It isn't that I want a servant--well, who am I kidding, of course that would be great! But when these thoughts cross my mind, I'm not picturing myself ordering or even asking someone to do things. I'm imagining someone who does some of the things that need doing, some of the many tasks involved in living.
"I wish it was someone else's turn to make dinner."
"I wish I could leave the car at the repair shop, instead of having to wait."
"I wish someone would make me soup and bring me juice when I'm sick."
Now, granted, it's idealized, but doesn't it sound lovely? I know everyone's relationship isn't like that, I know there are people who don't do things like that for their partners, but you know, there are people who do all that and much more. (And if I'm going to dream, it may as well be good, right? The right guy would want to take care of me. Perhaps he would express that with a kiss, or perhaps by getting my oil changed. Whatever.)
What made me think of this today was the idea of times when it's really helpful to have four hands available. (Like the time when I bought a DIY computer desk, which came in a box about 4 feet long and a foot wide and an inch high, weighing many pounds, and a pizza guy had to help me get the box out of my car. No, really.) As, for instance, cat-shuffling.
In the course of preparing for introducing a new cat to the household, I read this idea:
Once your new cat is using her litter box and eating regularly while confined, let her have free time in the house while confining your other animals to the new cat's room. This switch provides another way for the animals to experience each other's scents without a face-to-face meeting. It also allows the newcomer to become familiar with her new surroundings without being frightened by the other animals.Well. It sounds like a good idea, doesn't it? It may even be a good idea. But in order to get it done, here's what I had to do: close Harold in the bathroom (to his great and suspicious displeasure); take Her Highness to the bedroom and close her in there; take Himself from the bathroom into the office; open the bedroom door so Her Highness can roam around.
It's like a shell game, with cats.
I did try to cut corners this morning. I was giving Harold a lap, and could hear Herself at the office door, expressing an interest in coming out. So, I carried Harold over and opened the office door, thinking that she would come out and I could pop him in, easy. Except that she was moving cautiously (not that I blame her), and did not get far enough from the door to let me get him by, and he started getting all "what's going on there", and I had to let him down. He said, "Hiss!" and retreated to the living room, and she was happy to get back in the office. And I gave up on the shortcut.
I did it the other way tonight, and it pretty much worked. Except that Harold gave me the cold shoulder for a solid five minutes after because what, don't I love him anymore and why did I bring some other cat into his house and why do I spend time with her and why why why?
And I admit, I wanted to smack him and yell that I'm doing this for him, doesn't he understand how much this is taking out of me and holy maria, what do I have to do!
Which does not translate into Cat.
Alas, alak, 'tis true. And even when cat translations become available, I bet they'll insist on only understanding if it is a full moon or after one of the solstices.
ReplyDeleteDog translations on the other hand are very easy. They understand 'cookie' or 'treat' or 'walk' in all known human languages.
Have you thought about just letting them both out to mingle in the evenings when you're around? There might be some more Harold Hisses, but if they're going to be compatible it would be easier on you, with your limited number of arms, to speed the process a little. And be sure to fuss over Harold a little (lap time?) while Herself is wandering around. Maybe offer them both treats. Or sit in the middle of the sofa and see what happens.
ReplyDeleteI hope they know what a good cat parent they have!
ReplyDeleteI was just thinking along auntiemichal's lines when I read her remark. Yes, segregate them when you're not around but promote integration when you're home. There will be several fracases and you will want to intervene; stay away unless it looks like one might really get hurt, not just if it's playground pushing. What you're doing is fine but can be so wearing on the nerves (yours and the cats'). And do fuss over Harold; it's HIS world that's changing.
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