Take a Deep Breath and Try to Follow Along

So I had to work late and I hoped the silver lining to leaving at 6:30 would be less rush hour traffic but instead it was awful so I figured I'd better grab dinner on the way home because I didn't have much that could be ready quickly and I was already hungry. [breathe] I got Chinese and decided I'd drive home the shorter way even though I usually go home the other way, and I had to pull to the side for an ambulance and then I had to pull aside for another ambulance and a mile or so later I got diverted from the home-in-five-minutes road to the home-in-fifteen road by an enormous mass of police cars and wreckers and flashing lights, and I had only just enough sanity left to be grateful not to have been in that accident. [breathe] Then a car pulled out in front of me like I wasn't there and then I was behind a car that appeared not to know which way to go and felt that driving at 22 mph and then stopping in the road was the solution to that, not pulling over but stopping in the middle of the road to think it over, and then shortly after he went a different way another car pulled out in front of me to do 29 mph and I finally pulled over to park and eat a few bites of dinner so I wouldn't pass out before I got home, since I was starting to wonder if I would in fact ever get home (it started to seem as though I would drive around being diverted until it was time to leave for work Tuesday morning), particularly when the car pulling out of the road I was turning in to did not feel that my blinker and slowing down were strong enough signs that I was turning to make him want to pull out and get out of my way, and then there was a section of road with parked cars on my side so I had to wait for an oncoming car to go by first, and it seemed as though he was going to come forward far enough to prevent me moving and then possibly stop.

Seriously.

I believe it was quarter to 8 before I got home, and by 8 I had more dinner in my stomach and felt less like death, and even went to get the mail and found something happy, which I'll tell you about tomorrow, but for a while there? That was one lousy story I was living.