Mom is doing better, in a manner far slower and less linear than she would like, but better. She doesn't need the walker in the house anymore, and just the cane when we go out. And we've gone out not just to doctor's appointments and the like, but out to dinner a few times, which is a very good sign!
As she gets better, there is less that I have to be the one to do around the house, the way it was when she was still so wobbly. And sometimes I have to remind myself of that, something I do know but can lose sight of, that she should do the things she can do. Even if she may do something that makes me a little jumpy, given her recent history.
It makes me think of a situation in a book I read, where one character is asking another why he "let" a third character (an 80-something woman living on her own) do something that was potentially dangerous.
So that's the thing: as long as she is competent, she gets to decide things. It's a good reminder for me.
It is a good reminder, but it's still hard not to worry!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's hard not to be over-protective with older people, like parents are with wobbly toddlers.
ReplyDeleteI just got a small taste of this, having flown in and given other family members a break and taking care of my mom Fri-Mon, taking her out to eat repeatedly as she was able and showering her with attention while trying to let her do what she could do. It was wonderful. It was also eye-opening on how different things are for her from how they were. My heart goes out to you and your mom and I wish you all the very best.
ReplyDeleteAutonomy and agency...an excellent reminder.
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