The new-TV setup process is a series of "yes, but no" events and right now it's riding on my nerves. (The TL:DR is that the TV and cable are working, the DVD player isn't, and I don't know why it's stuck.)
My friend came over last night, bless her, and got the TV itself set up. But, the cable box did not work with it, just kept giving error messages.
So I called Verizon, and after a bout with the robo-voice* I got to talk to an actual person, who said I could get a new one, and there's a store in a town nearby, that was open on Saturdays, so we set that up. I went there today, and the woman told me that while I could
get a replacement for my old, standard box, what I really wanted with a new TV was the HD box. I was going to get the standard box anyway, but it turns out that you have to get the HD box to get the kind of cable connection I hadn't heard of before last night (HDMI, or something), which apparently I really want, and oh, fuck it, what's $4 a month, give me that one.
*I HATE voice-activated calls like that, because I can't curse the way I inevitably want to when I have to call them.
I also stopped at Best Buy and got the cable for the DVD player, because of course that doesn't come with the DVD player, because of course not. Why would they give you what you need to use the product?
I came home and hooked up the cable box. It didn't want to work, so I called and talked to the robo-bitch again, and she "detected" that I had a new set-top box to activate, and said she would start that process and it would take up to an hour, good-bye. What really frustrated me is that she said I would be able to tell it was done when the clock appeared on the front of the display, and the HD box doesn't have a front display, with a clock or otherwise. (That was when I threw the phone across the room. It landed soft. It's fine.)
So, less than an hour later, I poked at the power button of the cable box, and it actually came on! And the TV came on! And I was able to switch to the Rangers-Tampa game! And it was good! I didn't even try the DVD player then; I needed to pause in the something-worked
mindset for a while. I watched the rest of the game, which was close but restful to me, since I don't care who wins, and my, hockey does look nice on this big screen. Then I went out, knitting with friends (finished purse socks, started new, photos to come), and picked up a few groceries.
After dinner, I tried to hook the DVD player up. It's supposed to be "just plug the cord into the TV and into the DVD player" but of course there's more to it than that. I did manage to get it speaking to the TV, and it has its own setup process because of course it does. Blah blah blah, enter the wifi password again, and then it got to a point where it said it had a software update it needed to do ... and it wouldn't let me push the OK button. Or the cancel button. Or anything.
To that point, I had been using the TV remote, successfully, and that remote would let me do other things, go into the TV setup menu and stuff, but it would not influence that screen. I tried the DVD remote, thinking maybe it was that, but no. The only way I could even get it off was to unplug the DVD player, and even then the TV was all "I'm looking for it and I can't find it" when I just wanted it to turn on the TV again, jeez, it worked before, would you just give me the damned TV and let me calm down? Please?
So. There I am. And I just want someone to take care of this for me. My hands hurt and I'm tired and aggravated.
Alternate title for this post: This Is Why It Took Me 25 Years to Replace My TV